29 April 2010

Mission on Target

The mission to get down to my goal weight by June 1st is on target. We'll see if we keep that nice linear progression going. That's not usually how the human body works.

27 April 2010


I was at work early Monday morning when I got word that my friend Fernando Sanchez passed away and for the rest of the day it was hard to focus on anything. Sights and sounds seemed to come from a long distance away. People would say something and it would take a minute or two to process what they had said.

Fernando was one of several friends that showed up not just to move me into my new house, but also for the earlier and considerably less festive task of moving my ex-wife out of our apartment. Before that day we moved my wife out, I'd never really asked for help from a group of friends like that. The fact that friends showed up and helped, some that I knew well, some that I didn't know all that well, really kind of knocked me for a loop.

I've spent a lot of my life feeling like I was on the outside of things looking in, that I wasn't a part of a community, that I didn't have friends. And although things are different, it has been hard for me to accept that things have changed. That morning, when so many folks showed up to help load the ex-wife's things into the back of a big yellow Penske rental truck, really rocked my perception of the world. It strikes me that I have done a poor job of saying thank you to those folks, not because of a lack of gratitude and appreciation, but out of inexperience and a sense of the inadequacy of words to explain.

I think it was that sense of people coming together for me and wanting to pay some of that back which helped motivate me to spend at least a little time with Fernando over the past few weeks and I am extraordinarily grateful that I did.

26 April 2010

Three Day Weekend

I took Friday off as sort of a mental health/"there are not that many days of the year that are that nice and it's a shame to spend it at work day". What did I do with my day off? Had coffee with friends, went to visit a friend in hospice, did some shopping at Trader Joe's, drove out to Stone Mountain with the bike and did a couple of laps, ten miles, around the mountain getting used to riding again. When I got back from riding I was tired, it was still early afternoon, and although a part of me was annoyed that I was wasting daylight, I gave in and took a nap. There is nothing as fine as a good nap. I woke re-energized and found myself awake on a Friday evening, a very rare occurrence. At the last minute I went and saw the movie City Island with friends. City Island turned out to be a very funny comedy in the mode of classic Shakespearean comedy, lies and deception getting more and more out of hand until everything explodes in the final scene where everything is wrapped up and turns out okay despite our best efforts.

Saturday I was up very early and wrote a short story, visited friends, went out to breakfast, stopped by the hospice, came home for a few minutes, then went bowling of all things. It's been twenty years since I've bowled and it showed, although I did improve as we went along. We bowled for about two hours at Midtown bowl and I came close to winning the final game. All I had to do was get that final pin of a spare plus any one pin in the next frame and victory would have been mine... but all my final ball collected was air as it went by that last remaining pin. Saturday evening was a bit of a bust, I futzed around the house for a bit, looked at a friend's defunct computer, laid down for a nap, and never got up again until the next morning. I don't think I get enough sleep.

Sunday I was up early and watched Mongol about the early life of Genghis Kahn. Very interesting and difficult life even before he united the Mongols and set about conquering half the world. I had coffee with friends, stopped by the house, picked up the pick, went over to Stone Mountain again, did fifteen miles this time, came home, showered, and tried to get interested in doing things around the house. Eventually I managed to get it in gear, getting some cleaning done, getting out to the pet store to buy a real litter box, and picking up some sundries at Target. I added oil to the Honda, changed the wipers, replaced a headlight, and threw away the trash that had accumulated. Then I puttered around the house doing laundry, putting things away, and other random acts of domesticity. Somehow that managed to take up the rest of the day except for the hour where I watched Bones on the computer. (I hate watching things on the computer, there are all these little pauses that drive me nuts. I don't know if the problem is my video card, cpu, bandwidth, or the Internet itself.)

But now the three day weekend is over and it's back to reality.

22 April 2010

I don't know how it got to be Thursday morning all of a sudden

I don't know how it got to be Thursday morning all of a sudden. It feels like the week has been gone in a flash. I am taking Friday off as a mental health day. There may be some irony in that as it turns out, more later.

The diet is going good, I am down 13 pounds in four weeks which is pretty much the maximum recommended loss rate if you want to keep it off. It's getting a bit easier to manage the whole routine of counting all the calories and accepting when I have used them all up for the day. Not that it's easy, just easier.

19 April 2010

The Weekend

Saturday, met friends for coffee, breakfast at J Christopher's and then went to spend the day over at Grady visiting a sick friend. Left about seven pm and headed home. Was pretty tired for a day mostly spent sitting around talking.

Sunday, I met friends for coffee, shopped at Trader Joe's, talked to a friend on the phone for awhile to get advice on a situation. That might have brought me back to earth in a necessary way, but it left me in kind of a lethargic contemplative mood all afternoon. I did manage to mow the yard, wash, fold, and put away laundry and get a couple of miscellaneous other chores done. I even managed to squeeze in a nap.

I got one phone call and made a couple of phone calls which cheered me up... and then the weekend was over and it was time for sleep. Not the most productive weekend, but there was some time well spent.

"then it's a matter of watching it slowly unravel."

16 April 2010


Suddenly in a blink of an eye it's Friday. Sort of like this morning. I had time to get up, have my coffee, peak at the Internet, make a smoothie, and then suddenly I am looking at the clock going, "I gotta go get in the shower if I am gonna catch that bus!" I did find a Starbuck's coupon I didn't know I had and I'm trying to decide when to redeem it..... getting in the shower now.

14 April 2010


I've dropped 10 pounds which puts me a third of the way towards my goal. Trying to get as much walking as I can in during the course of the day. Think I have reached a point where I need to keep the work shoes at work and wear running shoes for the commute. Duh! I'd be doing better if I could find some time to do some core work and build some upper body mass, but that's been tough.

Monday was a long day, as soon as got home I walked down to the village to score some coffee. By the time I got home, it was time for a quick dinner and bed. Tuesday I actually had a few minutes in the evening to put my feet up, email a friend about something, and watch a few minutes of United States of Tara. Then I went to bed early to try to get in some make up sleep. Might have helped a little, although I am still tired this morning.

12 April 2010

Filling in the Gaps

Okay, it's been awhile since I've updated this blog. About a week. Life seems like it has been moving at quite a pace lately. I cannot really fill in much of the blanks from last week. It was a busy week at work and I was delighted when Friday showed up. I stuck to my diet and lost a few pounds.

Saturday, met friends for coffee, shopped at Trader Joe's and tried to flirt with the cashier I think is cute, stopped at Lowe's for lawn supplies, came home and worked in the yard mowing and weeding for several hours, came inside, fixed my bike, took a short test ride, watched a couple of episodes of The United States of Tara and to bed.

Sunday met friends for coffee and ending up talking forever, then went to the Sunday morning matinee of Clash of the Titans in 3D, lunch and more talking, a short break to come home, prep a salad for dinner, and clean up some of the tools I had left out from the day before. Then I went with a friend to visit a friend at his home who has pancreatic cancer and just started his chemotherapy Friday. It was a good visit and I really enjoyed the time I got to spend with him. I went over to a friends house were we grilled chicken, tossed a salad and talked forever. I stumbled home about two hours past my bedtime and fell into bed. It was kind of a weird day, I talked more than I ever do and a lot of it was about stuff I never talk about.

07 April 2010


Walked 3 miles on the way to work, walked 3 miles on my lunch break. I found a triangle of doom at work where each side is about a mile. So far this week I have stayed out of Starbucks, made my lunches, stuck pretty much to my diet, and gone for a walk everyday. I have a coupon for a free Starbucks, think I am going to make myself wait for the weekend for that one.

06 April 2010


Monday was a day of walking, long walk in the AM, long walk at lunch, short walk to the train on the way home, short walk after getting home. Don't know how many miles that added up to. A lot I suspect. One good effect was that I actually got a good nights sleep for a change. That felt so good it wasn't even funny.

05 April 2010

Friday, Saturday, Sunday

I have not been sleeping well, it's like there is a conspiracy against me getting a good nights sleep or something. My neighbor has this strange habit of wandering out to his car (just outside my bedroom window) every night at midnight and starting it up for about ten minutes. One night I had some stomach issues that woke me up a couple of times. And last night for some inexplicable reason, I guess someone has their holidays mixed up, someone set off FIREWORKS at one in the morning. It's Easter, it's not the frigging Fourth of July.

Had what can only be described as an awesome weekend. Saturday I had  breakfast with friends, did my shopping at Trader Joe's, came home, was very domestic around the house, called a friend, went to a movie, bought a push mower and a ladder, came home, made dinner, and went to sleep. Sunday a friend surprised me with Starbucks, I mowed my yard with a manual push mower. Talked to my neighbor the gardener about what exactly was in my yard, what I should weed and what I should cultivate. He pointed out some things that I should watch out for, ie Poison Ivy. I got up on the ladder, which I really don't like and confirmed the squirrels have been coming in where I thought they were coming in and I noticed that I have a soffit that is moving up the list of things that are going to need attention right away.

I know people told me owning a house was going to be a lot of work, and I intellectually understood the words at the time. But now it is begininig to since in at a gut level. All I can say is thank goodness I didn't really understand what people were saying. I might never have pursued being a homeowner.

02 April 2010

Wednesday, Thursday

Wednesday was a big day. I'd gotten my tax refund over the weekend and was able to pay Dad back a large sum of money that he'd been good enough to loan me. It always feels good to close the books on a debt like that. Thursday was a very off day. I managed not to set the alarm and as a result woke up about an hour late feeling all disoriented and out of sorts. I didn't have my usually time to muck about around the house and on the Internet, I had to get in gear right away, get ready for work, and get myself out to the bus stop to catch a bus about a half hour later than normal. It felt like I was slightly out of sync with my life all day. Things didn't really click back into sync until I left work and headed home.

Wednesday I fell off my diet and felt like crap.
Thursday was a win.

It's now Friday morning, I've just looked at the clock and realized that I need to finish my blueberry smoothie and get in the shower if I want to get the usual bus. No big plans for the weekend, I have not even really been able to think about the weekend. The week has been one long coaster ride that's left my head spinning and unable to think clearly. I think I need some downtime this weekend. Not sure what I am going to do.