Movie Review: Salt

It seems like such a simple recipe, take a big charismatic star, make them a sympathetic character, put them in jeopardy visa via some unexplained mystery, and have them hunted by what on paper at least should be clearly superior forces. (Think Bourne Identity, Mission Impossible, the Prisoner, etc.) It’s a simple formula, but it seems like only one in a hundred movies are actually able to cook up something worth watching when they attempt this recipe.

With their new movie Salt writer Kurt Wimmer and director Phillip Noyce manage to pull off it off with just the right pinch of originality and the result is outstanding summer movie fare. Angeline Jolie is cast perfectly as Evelyn Salt, the hard to read CIA agent accused of being a Soviet mole. She is beautiful, mysterious, and as hard as nails. (Did I mention beautiful? The filmmakers try hard to pretend that they don’t notice, but it quickly becomes a conceit. The camera absolutely loves Jolie.)

The movie moves at the perfect pace, it gets the ball rolling with few preliminaries, opens up the throttle, and then never slows down or makes the mistake of giving you time to think. If something preposterous happens, there’s no time for the audience to dwell on it, there is already something else exciting going on.

The role was originally written for a man and there is some visual irony in seeing a character being played by Angelina Jolie being physically treated like a character being played by Bruce Willis. (And there is a lot in this movie that reminded me of Die Hard, another great action hero, hunted, up against overwhelming odds  movie.)

It’s interesting that the movie had to be completely rewritten in order to let Angelina Jolie step into a role originally meant for a man. According to the Jolie it allowed the movie and her character to become “harder and darker.” Although we like to see Angelina Jolie acting almost hyper-masculine at times, I am not sure we’d be willing to accept a man in the same role without lightening him up, making him warmer, or making him more sympathetic. There is definitely no lightness to Evelyn Salt and there’s more than a touch of the Dark Knight.

One particularly refreshing thing about the movie was a return to real stunt work and a switch away from the heavy use of CGI, which easily overwhelms my ability to maintain the suspension of disbelief necessary to enjoy a film.

Is it great cinema? Not even close, but for a summer action movie it’s an unexpectedly well-seasoned treat right out of the oven.

(Recommended)

Despicable Me: A Movie Review

Despicable Me gets a thumbs up from me for summer fun. It has super villains, a super scientist, a super weapon, a super rivalry, a super evil plan, and not one, not two, but three super cute orphans to tug at your heart strings. And what would a super villain's life be without a lot of minions? MUHAHAHAHA!

The minions in question belong to Gru, voiced by Steve Carroll, is an evil doer extraordinaire who is in danger of being shown up by a Johnny-Come-Lately by the name of Vector (who for some reason kept reminding me of Bill Gates). Vector steals a super weapon from Gru that he needs for his big come back. In order to retrieve it, Gru adopts three orphans as part of a plan to steal it back. The danger, if you are a despicable super villain, of getting to close to super cute adorable orphans is they might start having a deleterious effect on your cold calculating evil-minded despicability.

This movie is strictly a comedy. It has a smaller dose of pathos and wit than you will find in the really great animated movies that can capture an adult audience along with the kids. It's just out to have a good time which it succeeds at completely. If I was going to overanalyze it looking for some kind of message, and why don't I just take a minute to do that, I could make the case that it's all about the importance of having minions. Gru's life is greatly enriched by the presence of his minions and his unexpected feelings for the orphans. Vector on the other hand is strictly a solo bad guy. He might have power on his side, but is power any match for an army of minions?

If you are interested, I strongly recommend finding a kid to take with you to see this movie. There are movies you can enjoy watching as an adult, and then there are movies that you enjoy vicariously through the kid you brought with you. I think Despicable Me would definitely fall into this latter category. It was fun seeing it with a friend, but I thought it would have been better if we had a kid to borrow and take.

Cyrus: A Movie Review

Good actors are fun to watch and I think that is what makes the movie Cyrus so much fun. John C. Reilly, a terrific character actor, plays John a sort of beaten down everyman whose wife took a turn for the worse seven years ago that culminated in being left by his wife who early on in the movie announces she ‘s getting married. Spurred on by his ex-wife and her new fiancé, John goes to a party and disastrously, at first, tries to mingle. Despite the odds, and they are steep odds, he meets Molly, a beautiful and sweet woman played by Marisa Tomei and falls heads over heels for her.

At this point, if you didn’t know anything about the story you would be asking, “Where’s the catch?” The catch turns out to be Molly’s twenty two year old home schooled live at home son who has had an exclusive monopoly on mom for the last twenty two years and who isn’t above using a little emotional manipulation on mom to try to keep that  monopoly.

There is some genuine humor here in patterns that get established in families that seem perfectly normal to those that are in them, but look completely different when seen from the perspective of an outsider.  I found a lot of cringe-worthy moments, the kind only induced believable situations and characters. The movie respected its characters and never crossed the line into cheesy for the sake of the cheap laugh. From the previews I was a bit leery that the movie would do exactly that. There was one brief visual that went for the cheap laugh which I found both annoying and striking a false note, but otherwise the movie was consistently funny.

 The film resonated with me on a couple of personal levels, the biggest being that I am now of the age and marital status that it’s not inconceivable that I could find myself dating a single mom with a son or daughter that age.  And I am not too ashamed to admit it, I love Marisa Tomei.

Mission on Target

The mission to get down to my goal weight by June 1st is on target. We'll see if we keep that nice linear progression going. That's not usually how the human body works.

Monday

I was at work early Monday morning when I got word that my friend Fernando Sanchez passed away and for the rest of the day it was hard to focus on anything. Sights and sounds seemed to come from a long distance away. People would say something and it would take a minute or two to process what they had said.

Fernando was one of several friends that showed up not just to move me into my new house, but also for the earlier and considerably less festive task of moving my ex-wife out of our apartment. Before that day we moved my wife out, I'd never really asked for help from a group of friends like that. The fact that friends showed up and helped, some that I knew well, some that I didn't know all that well, really kind of knocked me for a loop.

I've spent a lot of my life feeling like I was on the outside of things looking in, that I wasn't a part of a community, that I didn't have friends. And although things are different, it has been hard for me to accept that things have changed. That morning, when so many folks showed up to help load the ex-wife's things into the back of a big yellow Penske rental truck, really rocked my perception of the world. It strikes me that I have done a poor job of saying thank you to those folks, not because of a lack of gratitude and appreciation, but out of inexperience and a sense of the inadequacy of words to explain.

I think it was that sense of people coming together for me and wanting to pay some of that back which helped motivate me to spend at least a little time with Fernando over the past few weeks and I am extraordinarily grateful that I did.

Three Day Weekend

I took Friday off as sort of a mental health/"there are not that many days of the year that are that nice and it's a shame to spend it at work day". What did I do with my day off? Had coffee with friends, went to visit a friend in hospice, did some shopping at Trader Joe's, drove out to Stone Mountain with the bike and did a couple of laps, ten miles, around the mountain getting used to riding again. When I got back from riding I was tired, it was still early afternoon, and although a part of me was annoyed that I was wasting daylight, I gave in and took a nap. There is nothing as fine as a good nap. I woke re-energized and found myself awake on a Friday evening, a very rare occurrence. At the last minute I went and saw the movie City Island with friends. City Island turned out to be a very funny comedy in the mode of classic Shakespearean comedy, lies and deception getting more and more out of hand until everything explodes in the final scene where everything is wrapped up and turns out okay despite our best efforts.

Saturday I was up very early and wrote a short story, visited friends, went out to breakfast, stopped by the hospice, came home for a few minutes, then went bowling of all things. It's been twenty years since I've bowled and it showed, although I did improve as we went along. We bowled for about two hours at Midtown bowl and I came close to winning the final game. All I had to do was get that final pin of a spare plus any one pin in the next frame and victory would have been mine... but all my final ball collected was air as it went by that last remaining pin. Saturday evening was a bit of a bust, I futzed around the house for a bit, looked at a friend's defunct computer, laid down for a nap, and never got up again until the next morning. I don't think I get enough sleep.

Sunday I was up early and watched Mongol about the early life of Genghis Kahn. Very interesting and difficult life even before he united the Mongols and set about conquering half the world. I had coffee with friends, stopped by the house, picked up the pick, went over to Stone Mountain again, did fifteen miles this time, came home, showered, and tried to get interested in doing things around the house. Eventually I managed to get it in gear, getting some cleaning done, getting out to the pet store to buy a real litter box, and picking up some sundries at Target. I added oil to the Honda, changed the wipers, replaced a headlight, and threw away the trash that had accumulated. Then I puttered around the house doing laundry, putting things away, and other random acts of domesticity. Somehow that managed to take up the rest of the day except for the hour where I watched Bones on the computer. (I hate watching things on the computer, there are all these little pauses that drive me nuts. I don't know if the problem is my video card, cpu, bandwidth, or the Internet itself.)

But now the three day weekend is over and it's back to reality.

I don't know how it got to be Thursday morning all of a sudden

I don't know how it got to be Thursday morning all of a sudden. It feels like the week has been gone in a flash. I am taking Friday off as a mental health day. There may be some irony in that as it turns out, more later.

The diet is going good, I am down 13 pounds in four weeks which is pretty much the maximum recommended loss rate if you want to keep it off. It's getting a bit easier to manage the whole routine of counting all the calories and accepting when I have used them all up for the day. Not that it's easy, just easier.

The Weekend

Saturday, met friends for coffee, breakfast at J Christopher's and then went to spend the day over at Grady visiting a sick friend. Left about seven pm and headed home. Was pretty tired for a day mostly spent sitting around talking.

Sunday, I met friends for coffee, shopped at Trader Joe's, talked to a friend on the phone for awhile to get advice on a situation. That might have brought me back to earth in a necessary way, but it left me in kind of a lethargic contemplative mood all afternoon. I did manage to mow the yard, wash, fold, and put away laundry and get a couple of miscellaneous other chores done. I even managed to squeeze in a nap.

I got one phone call and made a couple of phone calls which cheered me up... and then the weekend was over and it was time for sleep. Not the most productive weekend, but there was some time well spent.

"then it's a matter of watching it slowly unravel."

Friday

Suddenly in a blink of an eye it's Friday. Sort of like this morning. I had time to get up, have my coffee, peak at the Internet, make a smoothie, and then suddenly I am looking at the clock going, "I gotta go get in the shower if I am gonna catch that bus!" I did find a Starbuck's coupon I didn't know I had and I'm trying to decide when to redeem it..... getting in the shower now.

Wednesday

I've dropped 10 pounds which puts me a third of the way towards my goal. Trying to get as much walking as I can in during the course of the day. Think I have reached a point where I need to keep the work shoes at work and wear running shoes for the commute. Duh! I'd be doing better if I could find some time to do some core work and build some upper body mass, but that's been tough.

Monday was a long day, as soon as got home I walked down to the village to score some coffee. By the time I got home, it was time for a quick dinner and bed. Tuesday I actually had a few minutes in the evening to put my feet up, email a friend about something, and watch a few minutes of United States of Tara. Then I went to bed early to try to get in some make up sleep. Might have helped a little, although I am still tired this morning.

Filling in the Gaps

Okay, it's been awhile since I've updated this blog. About a week. Life seems like it has been moving at quite a pace lately. I cannot really fill in much of the blanks from last week. It was a busy week at work and I was delighted when Friday showed up. I stuck to my diet and lost a few pounds.

Saturday, met friends for coffee, shopped at Trader Joe's and tried to flirt with the cashier I think is cute, stopped at Lowe's for lawn supplies, came home and worked in the yard mowing and weeding for several hours, came inside, fixed my bike, took a short test ride, watched a couple of episodes of The United States of Tara and to bed.

Sunday met friends for coffee and ending up talking forever, then went to the Sunday morning matinee of Clash of the Titans in 3D, lunch and more talking, a short break to come home, prep a salad for dinner, and clean up some of the tools I had left out from the day before. Then I went with a friend to visit a friend at his home who has pancreatic cancer and just started his chemotherapy Friday. It was a good visit and I really enjoyed the time I got to spend with him. I went over to a friends house were we grilled chicken, tossed a salad and talked forever. I stumbled home about two hours past my bedtime and fell into bed. It was kind of a weird day, I talked more than I ever do and a lot of it was about stuff I never talk about.

Tuesday

Walked 3 miles on the way to work, walked 3 miles on my lunch break. I found a triangle of doom at work where each side is about a mile. So far this week I have stayed out of Starbucks, made my lunches, stuck pretty much to my diet, and gone for a walk everyday. I have a coupon for a free Starbucks, think I am going to make myself wait for the weekend for that one.

Monday

Monday was a day of walking, long walk in the AM, long walk at lunch, short walk to the train on the way home, short walk after getting home. Don't know how many miles that added up to. A lot I suspect. One good effect was that I actually got a good nights sleep for a change. That felt so good it wasn't even funny.

Friday, Saturday, Sunday

I have not been sleeping well, it's like there is a conspiracy against me getting a good nights sleep or something. My neighbor has this strange habit of wandering out to his car (just outside my bedroom window) every night at midnight and starting it up for about ten minutes. One night I had some stomach issues that woke me up a couple of times. And last night for some inexplicable reason, I guess someone has their holidays mixed up, someone set off FIREWORKS at one in the morning. It's Easter, it's not the frigging Fourth of July.

Had what can only be described as an awesome weekend. Saturday I had  breakfast with friends, did my shopping at Trader Joe's, came home, was very domestic around the house, called a friend, went to a movie, bought a push mower and a ladder, came home, made dinner, and went to sleep. Sunday a friend surprised me with Starbucks, I mowed my yard with a manual push mower. Talked to my neighbor the gardener about what exactly was in my yard, what I should weed and what I should cultivate. He pointed out some things that I should watch out for, ie Poison Ivy. I got up on the ladder, which I really don't like and confirmed the squirrels have been coming in where I thought they were coming in and I noticed that I have a soffit that is moving up the list of things that are going to need attention right away.

I know people told me owning a house was going to be a lot of work, and I intellectually understood the words at the time. But now it is begininig to since in at a gut level. All I can say is thank goodness I didn't really understand what people were saying. I might never have pursued being a homeowner.

Wednesday, Thursday

Wednesday was a big day. I'd gotten my tax refund over the weekend and was able to pay Dad back a large sum of money that he'd been good enough to loan me. It always feels good to close the books on a debt like that. Thursday was a very off day. I managed not to set the alarm and as a result woke up about an hour late feeling all disoriented and out of sorts. I didn't have my usually time to muck about around the house and on the Internet, I had to get in gear right away, get ready for work, and get myself out to the bus stop to catch a bus about a half hour later than normal. It felt like I was slightly out of sync with my life all day. Things didn't really click back into sync until I left work and headed home.

Wednesday I fell off my diet and felt like crap.
Thursday was a win.

It's now Friday morning, I've just looked at the clock and realized that I need to finish my blueberry smoothie and get in the shower if I want to get the usual bus. No big plans for the weekend, I have not even really been able to think about the weekend. The week has been one long coaster ride that's left my head spinning and unable to think clearly. I think I need some downtime this weekend. Not sure what I am going to do.

Tuesday

It was a great day for the diet and I got in a couple of 30 minute plus walks to boot. Very much a net loss kind of day. Only fail was a sore heal as a result of trying to remove a callous the night before doing all that walking.

I did have a latte at Starbucks... no more. At least not for awhile. I need to get back on my budget wagon pronto which means cutting my visits to the two tailed mermaid down to once a week. So I am officially declaring myself baned till after next Tuesday. Gosh, I hope they don't go out of business.

I feel like I am running a little behind at work. Got to get on top of it today.

Monday

Wins:

• At work did a fairly decent job of facing unpleasant stuff head on and getting the worst stuff out of the way first
• Stuck to my diet, yet had breakfast, lunch, and dinner
• Treated myself to a latte at lunch
• Got some walking in as part of my commute
• Updated my checkbook
• Got my Starbucks Gold Card

What can I say, it was a good day for a Monday.

Sunday

Sunday was my day to do stuff and I was not completely unsuccessful. I woke up, had coffee and bagel with a friend. I hooked up with some other folks to to go see the early show of How to Train Your Dragon which I give a thumbs up. For me it there was a slow spot towards the end of the second act, where I caught myself wondering when the third act was ever going to start, but the movie redeemed itself by the end. It's always a good sign when there is a smattering of applause at the end of the movie. Visually the textures used in the animation seemed different that what I have seen before, more real? It's hard to describe but it did work in the movie's favor.

Post-movie I headed back to the house did laundry and cleaned. The usually weekend stuff, strip the beds, wash the linens, remake the bed, vacuum the house, mop the kitchen, scrub the bathroom it all its multi-surface glory, wash any remaining laundry and put away; balance the checkbook, reconcile bank statements, open and pay any bills that I had missed during the week; enter any transactions I had forgotten about; take a nap; and watch a foreign film, in this case Reprise which I just didn't get. The characters were not compelling and there was not much of a detectable story. It's shame because I really wanted to like it.

Didn't feel very good Sunday, mostly from having slept like crap on Saturday night. I tried unsuccessfully to take a nap, but my nerves were too jangly. I felt hot and feverish, which probably didn't help my liking of Reprise. I blew my diet to hell with judicious application of Ben and Jerry's Cheesecake Flavored Ice Cream, but damn it, it did make me feel a bit better. Today is a new day however, and it's back on the diet wagon for me.

Thursday, Friday, Saturday

Gap alert. I hate it when I get behind. Nothing much happened Thursday or Friday, I woke up, took the bus to work, work, took the bus home, cooked dinner, watched a little TV, washed dishes, slept, and repeated. Some unexpected work stuff came up Friday, but nothing insurmountable.

Thursday I went with the guys to lunch at La Botana, a local Mexican restaurant and managed to a) not eat any of the chips and salsa b) find something to order that fit into my diet. (chicken tacos, no cheese)

For lunch Friday I took a long walk (2 miles) to Chick-Fil-A to grab a sandwich, then stopped by a nearby Starbucks to have a coffee intending to sit and write for awhile, unfortunately time ran a little short and it was grab and go.

Saturday I had a very enjoyable breakfast with friends at the corner cafe, did my weekly shopping at Trader Joe's, came home, put things away, and then went over to a friend's house to hold a ladder. A raccoon that had been living in his walls managed to die in his walls, a contractor came and found the critter by cutting holes in the walls and ceiling. Repairing the holes was not included in the corpse removal fee which explains why my buddy is fifteen feet up in the air trying to patch his ceiling and needed me to hold the ladder.

I got home in the early evening, had a frozen protein smoothie and went for about a 3 mile walk through the village. I sat on the front steps for a bit as I watched the sun go down, went inside, made a salad and some salmon wraps, watched a bit of Angel, then tottered off to bed for what turned out to be a pretty restless nights sleep, listening for critters in my attic and a couple of other things on my mind. I woke up early and decided it was a good as time as any to update my blog.

Wednesday

Logging every little calorie you eat is no easy task. I was plotting what I was going to have for dinner last night by taking items of the fridge and putting them on the counter when thanks to my iPhone and Livestrong app I realized I was about to overdraw my calorie account. My overeating came to a screeching halt. And you know, I managed to eat a smaller meal than I planned and was just fine with it. Eventually.

Tuesday

I've been sticking to my diet for several days now. Today I started tracking my food using my iPhone and the LiveStrong App, we'll see how that goes. Counting calories makes me very conscious of how much I eat, which is why I don't like to do it, I know it works.

So why the getting serious again about getting more exercise and losing the extra pounds?

• Getting back to my goal weight is #4 on my list of New Year's Resolutions.
• I need to buy more pants or fit into the ones I already have.
• I am working on a personal program for healthy living.
• And I have been thinking more and more about resolution #1.

Monday

Monday was a pretty good day, a bit of a blur, but a pretty good day from what I can remember. Mostly it was commute, Starbuck's, work, work, work, commute, diner, part of a movie, bed. It snowed (at least a couple of big wet flakes on the way to work) and rained on the way home. I stuck to my diet, mostly. Need to figure out what to do about lunches. I sort of decided that I just wouldn't eat them this week. Probably not the finest plan I ever came up with. Flies in the face of both science and common sense.

I need to start working out, but sitting here in the cold at 4:37am drinking a nice cup of coffee, I am just so not motivated to get down on the floor and start doing crunches. I think I am going to have to work up a little motivation before getting started on an exercise routine. Although even just the walking that I have been working in on my commute has been making a difference.

Thinking

Of what once was
And what isn't... yet

Sent from my iPhone

Monday

Finishing up a latte at SBUX and pondering life. I had a good weekend and so far some of that momentum has carried into the week. Now the challange is to carry that momentum into work as well. It really shouldn't be that complicated. Work hard, do the nexy right thing, get to what I can get to, and get to the rest tomorrow. Today I am going to eat right and take care of myself. I will try to do right by others. Seems simple.

Sent from my iPhone

Sunday Day 80 2010

Coffee and then breakfast the Pot and Pan. There I forgot to check in on Foursquare. Afterwards I went to see Green Zone @ Phipps with Vick and a couple of new acquaintances, Fallon and Nathan, who are here in town attending managerial training for Teavana. After the movie Fallon and Nathan took us to see the Teavana store in Phipps. They have some pretty delicious tea's there, but my first love I think will remain SBUX's for the time being.

Green Zone was not bad for a war movie, technically it was great, Matt Damon is a solid action star. The shaky cam eventually became a bit much as did all of the extremely dim night shots. The story was relevant and topical. Everything was nice and tight. But I didn't really like the movie. I was hoping more Borne Identity and less Big Red One. It could be that I don't like war movies or just Iraq fatigue on my part. I am sick of being at war/fighting in both Iraq and Afghanistan. A movie is going to have to be pretty compelling to cut through my natural dislike, and this wasn't that movie. I was also vaguely annoyed because the trailer I saw in the theater didn't seem to match up with the movie I saw very well.

So post movie I headed home and proceed with the mundane tasks that I actually kind of like. I finished doing the laundry, got it folded and put away, I vacuumed the house, scooped the litter, made a smoothie for lunch and later heated up a can of black bean soup and made a spinach salad for dinner. I had just finished eating and was debating if I wanted to try to get anything else done when I heard a noise indicating that I had caught another squirrel in the attic. I turned out that it was not much more than a baby. Not so small that I felt bad about driving it cross down and setting it free somewhere else, but pretty darn small. It was pretty hysterical at being trapped in a cage and kept making this ear-splitting whistle which I guess was some sort of distress call. I kept looking over my shoulder as I climbed out of the attic for mommy squirrel and and company.

Out of consideration for the squirrel's feelings I didn't make it wait overnight for release, I got in the car and drove it across town and released it in a school parking lot. I got caught in some serious rain showers driving back home, saw some really interesting skies as the sun was going down, stopped at Trader Joe's, headed home and called it a night.

Saturday Day 79 2010

It's been a nice day. Coffee with my peeps always starts the day right. I hit up Trader Joe's to lay in some provisions for the week, stopped at the Goodwill Store to make some donations and take a quick look through the store, then headed home. At home I made a power fruit smoothie for breakfast, it's been a long time since I've made one and I have no idea why it has been so long. I really love them. I think I will get back to making them a regular thing.

I spent the better part of the day cleaning up the kitchen and trying to organize the stuff in the "spare room" so the spare room is more of a spare room and less of a catchall for everything that doesn't have a place. I threw some stuff out and put some more stuff in the car to drop off at Goodwill. I worked at it for a good five hours before deciding that enough was enough. I walked for a couple of miles around the village, then came home, made a salad and heated up a can of soup. As I was making the salad I realized that I had forgotten the dressing and didn't have any in the house. The funny thing is between the humas, feta cheese, and black olives the salad didn't actually need dressing.

While I ate I sat and watched the first couple of episodes of Nurse Jackie.

While I was busy cleaning the neighborhood cats kept coming around and peering into the window, much to the consternation of my cat. I thought this photo was interesting with my cat named Shadow on the inside and the light colored cat named God knows what on the outside.

I did meet someone today I thought was quite interesting that I really should have invited out for coffee and shame on me for not doing it. It caught me a little off guard and let's face it, I am a little out of practice.

Friday - Day 78

Sometimes, there just is no time. Was so tired Friday I feel kind out out of it most of the day, but it was an exceptionally lovely almost spring day. I made a point of taking a lengthy walk to Chick-fil-a and stopped at Starbucks for a quick coffee on the way back to the office. It's so funny how it is suddenly Spring as if there was hardly any transition at all between the bitter cold and shirtsleeves weather.

Starbucks

Taking a moment to sit at Starbucks and contemplate the universe over a latte. Sometimes I wish real change was as easy as thinking about it because I am really good at that part. But we seem to be very
complicated creatures and that step between what we do and what we want to do can be enormous.
I seem to be pretty good at getting it together in one area, but feel challenged when it would be nice to take on a couple of areas at once.What are all these areas of which I speak?
Work: staying on top of current stuff, looking for where I can improve, developing my skills
Social: putting energy into friendships, meeting folks, and gasp, dating
Personal: eating health, exercise, activities, working on my house,
decorating, housekeeping, etc

sent from my iPhone

Tuesday Day 73 - "filler days"

Wow, Tuesday. Got an early start. Rewarded myself for previous nights squirrel success by stopping by Starbucks on the way to work. I had a busy day at work trying to work the kinks out of  some new processes. I came home, made dinner, and fell asleep on the couch watching NCIS.

As I first looked back on yesterday I was struck by how I didn't put one ounce of energy into any of my hopes and dreams. The day seemed wasted, a filler day between birth and death. I didn't take a half hour to write, I didn't eat particularly healthy, I didn't set down and work on my budget, I didn't do this and I didn't do that. All these things that I didn't do that I need to be doing if I want specific dreams to come true.

But if I go back and look more closely at yesterday, I find there was quite a list of things that I did do. I went to work, worked hard, was focused, and got a lot done, which is no small accomplishment, required a lot of energy, and is a necessary supporting piece of a lot of my hopes and dreams. I took the opportunity to go to lunch with friends because that's important me. I texted a friend while watching NCIS just to say hello. I walked from the train station to work and from work to the train station for the exercise. So on reflection the day was not the complete waste I first thought when I sat down to write about it.

Lately I find myself conscious of what I am doing with my days and how they are numbered. I don't know how many there are, there should be plenty left, more than half, but I do know they are a finite quantity. And the quality of my life is good right now. There will be times when that isn't the case.

So yesterday wasn't just a filler day, but I see room for improvement. What small step will I take today to ensure that today is not just a filler day?

Monday Day 72 2010

So I come home and check my carefully laid traps. Queue my best evil villain victory laugh, muahaha! I have caught you Mr. Squirrel. Why don't you just sit there while I look up recipes for squirrel stew and tell you my plot to take over the world which is safe for you to know for the few minutes you have left since it is impossible for you to escape my clutches, make your way back to the squirrel army, lead a strike force back to steal my flux capacitors, and destroying me in an emotionally satisfying manner to make the audience happy while leaving a tiny bit of doubt about the finality of my end in case the studio green-lights a sequel in which I come back horribly scared and looking for revenge.

So perhaps it's a bad idea to indulge in elaborate revenge fantasies, particularly ones which involve elaborate mechanical deaths which I don't have time to watch and which you will inevitably escape from.

So  here is the deal. I am going to drive you to a much more expensive zip code and drop you next to a tree that has a nice park view and probably costs more than my entire house all by itself. So let's not have any ill will here Mr. Squirrel. I don't want to worry about squirrel ninjas cutting a hole in the ceiling above my bed and diving on me as I am sleeping with sharpened teeth and claws. If that should happen... let's just say I did bookmark that recipe for squirrel stew.

Sunday Day 71 2010

The day started with a trip by Starbucks to get my passport stamped. Buy one coffee a week and end up with a free pound of coffee. There is a promotion I can get my caffeine habit around. I then met up with a friend to go see Alice in Wonderland. Afterwards I came home and started mucking around in the computer when once again I heard the pitter-patter of little feat above my head.

There is nothing I like less than hearing the pitter-patter of uninvited guests above my head. I've been wondering what was making the pitter-patter and nothing that came to mind has been pleasing. Honestly I was kind of hoping it was squirrels, but I was worried it was rats. So yesterday I hear the pitter-patter again, go up into the attic, and find staring back at me from a across the attic a squirrel who is just standing there looking at me, pretty as you please, "Hi human, I like your house, nice of you to be sharing with me, it's a blustery day outside, I sure do like hanging out in your warm attic!" Well at least it was a squirrel and not some large sewer rat or something.

So I take an existing no-kill trap baiting with month-old peanut butter and stick it down at that end of the attic. I go downstairs and spend the next couple of hours listening to the squirrel scurry around my trap. I cannot stand it anymore, I check the trap. Somehow he's ignored it, not a fan of stale peanut butter I guess. I get in the car and go to Publix to look for tastier squirrel bait or at least a fresh jar of peanut butter. I come home and prepare my bait. I have a trap downstairs which I make ready for battle and I prepare fresh bait for the trap upstairs. I go up the stairs and carefully make my way back to the far reaches of the attic to set my traps. As I get toward the far end where the roof comes down to meet the top of the rafters I am obligated to lay on  my stomach and stretch out to get the traps where I want them. So I am in this position trying to set these darn traps when the insulation in front of me twitches and it takes a few seconds for me to register that insulation does not twitch all by itself. It twitches when there is something under it.

Perhaps a braver man would have lifted up the insulation twelve inches from the tip of his nose and said hello to his house guest. Not me. I figure the last thing I want to be is laying on my belly in the attic twelve inches from an annoyed squirrel looking at him eye to eye. I carefully finished setting baiting and setting my traps and quietly backed away leaving Mr. Squirrel to his nap.

Alice in Wonderland

Alice in Wonderland was hands down the most enjoyable film that I have seen all year. Tim Burton's world really pulled me into the story which is something that a lot of movies completely fail to do. I also thought it was a film with more meaning and relevance to our times than say... Avatar. A completely shallow movie that seemed to have inspired endless debate among people. On one level Alice in Wonderland was all about growing up, becoming an adult, and acting like an adult, acting like an adult in the sense that you need to accept reality, whatever reality that is, and then make humane, considerate, and even courageous choices. It's about not accepting predefined limitations put on you by yourself or someone else, but finding those limitations for yourself. It's about the courage to try or believe things that you think are impossible. This is something that so completely resonates with me.

On a political level, I too it as a parody of extreme polarizing viewpoints and a call for rationality which seems an ungodly timely message. I don't think the Red Queen or the White Queen present some ideal of government, although the criticism of the White Queen was considerably more subtle and some may say that I am imagining it. But I would make a case that if you just look at how the White Queen and her castle are portrayed visually, you can tell she isn't supposed to be portraying some ideal. Her kingdom looks as forced and unreal as the Red Queen's. Actually the White Queen seems slightly terrifying almost drained of color except for the dark slash of her lips.

Alice is also a feminist movie in it's own way. This Alice is certainly a girl that I would want to present as role model to my daughter. She questions society, stands up for herself, faces reality, makes hard decisions, treats those around her with dignity and respect, and in the end doesn't just accept perceived limitations.

There were one or two things in the movie that didn't work for me. One CGI character shouldn't have been (the Red Queen's consort). The 3D didn't really seem to add that much to the film. Johnny Depp has turned in one of his best performances in years. The animation and characterization of the other fantastical characters was spot on.

And I loved the Cheshire Cat. Smile!

Saturday Day 70 2010

I started the day with a latte at Starbucks, breakfast with friends at Einsteins, shopped at Trader Joe's, stopped at Lowe's for a padlock and hasp, ran by the gas station to make sure my tires had air, and then headed home. Installed lock on basement/crawlspace door, did most of the laundry, changed the bed linens, and puttered around the house a bit. Watched an episode of Castle and finished an interesting French film Cache. Made an avocado feta spinach salad with poppyseed dressing to go with a couple of turkey burgers wrapped in a flour tortilla shell and topped with cream cheese. I ate too much Greek yogurt and granola for desert.

A little worried tonight about all the things that need doing around the house from the daily chores, to critter proofing, to fixing whatever is going on in the southeast corner with the soffit, and if there is a leak in the roof that is causing the problem or just overflow from the gutter. I'm feeling a bit on edge tonight for whatever reason. Wish I had the house a bit more together and had found some folks to come over and watch 2012 with me.

Time change tonight, have to remember to set my clock forward an hour as I go to bed.

Friday Day 69 2010

One of those very busy days at work when you hit the ground running and sometime later you realize suddenly that your day ended a couple of hours ago and you need to go home. On the plus side, it seemed to be a pretty good day for getting things done.

Thursday Day 70 2010

Thursday, got an early start, stopped at Starbucks. Work was a day of constant frenetic motion. A lot of energy was spent getting a lot of stuff done, just none was able to be spent on some key projects. Did hit Chipotle up with the gang and discovered that a Five Guys burger joint is moving in next door as a viable if extremely unhealthy lunch choice.

Came home, reheated some sketti, and watched the rest of The Jane Austen Book Club, a cute movie, but one that made me feel bad about having never read Jane Austen.

Wednesday Day 69 2010

We are 18 percent done with 2010. I am amazed at the ability of time to move both quickly and slowly at the same time. It seems like there has been an awful lot of this year and it's been taking forever to muddle through stuff, on the other hand, there are things that I have not gotten to yet and it seems like I have barely procrastinated at all.

Having nothing to do with the passage of time, I find it amusing that the cat can jump into my lap as I am sitting at my desk typing. I cannot quite work out the physics of how this works. I suspect that several laws of motion are in fact being broken or that cats discovered how to teleport some time ago. Evidently they can read as well, she just looked at what I was typing, gave me an exasperated look, and jumped down, probably to go report me to some cat authority for giving away their secrets.

Wednesday actually started with a couple of setbacks, out of coffee, missing umbrella, missed buses, but things seemed to turn around once I hit Starbucks on the way to work and achieved Cafe Latte. I pushed myself in a couple of areas and the results were positive. I took something personally and then got over it. I found out something I didn't like and will have the opportunity to fix it. I think I learned a few things. Then I came home, made sketti, ate too much, and went to bed. Not the worst day I ever had.

Tuesday Day 68

So I was almost home, just about a mile from home when some fool side-swiped the bus I was on, not doing anything really other than taking off the driver's mirror. Of course the bus had to be stopped and we had to transfer to the next bus that was running the route. I had left work late anyway, so it was pretty late by the time I got home. Just time enough to make some rice and beans, watch NCIS, and go to sleep.

Not the greatest day ever, but I found things to be grateful for in it. I started the day with a cafe latte, got a lot done at work, saw a couple of pretty girls, got a call from a friend, all good stuff.

Monday Day 67 2010

What's to be said about a Monday? Got up, took the bus and train to work. Thought about stopping at Starbucks on the way, didn't because I thought I would be able to take a lunch break and get some coffee then, but that didn't happen. Left work late and by the time I got home, had some pasta, and watched an episode of House, the day was over.

Sunday Day 66 2010

Sunday was a good day. Started with a stop at Starbucks for the sunrise and continued on with friends, breakfast, and going to see the first show of the day of Shutter Island. I thought the movie was good but very long and  definitely lagged in places. It was almost a relief when it was finally over. Afterwards I went over to a friends to help them with some minor tree trimming which didn't take long at all.

I headed back over to my house full of good intentions, but my cold flared up and when I got home I really didn't feel like doing much of anything. I made some lunch, and watched this week's episode of Grey's Anatomy. I puttered about the house for a bit doing minor miscellaneous stuff, nothing terribly productive or useful. I did follow through on something that I said the other day and sat down and wrote for a bit, just for my own pleasure more than anything.

Eventually I gave up on getting anything of substance done with the rest of the day, my face was throbbing and I felt like I had been ridden hard and put up wet. I put on the sweat pants, heated up a can of black bean soup, fired up the DVD player and watched Law Abiding Citizen which was a much more entertaining movie.

Saturday Day 65 2010

Well my healthy eating resolution lasted as far as breakfast. I ended up meeting 5 friends at the Original Pancake House. I did however eat relatively healthy the rest of the day. I made pretty good use of my Saturday. After breakfast I came home and started organizing. I pulled all the 2009 bills, receipts, and tax forms from my working files and put them in their own box for longer term storage. I sorted through the stuff piled on my desk and managed to process some of it.

I fiddled with Quicken for quite awhile trying to get it to be a little more useful for me. I think I ended up knowing a little bit more about my financial picture. I took some steps in the right direction anyway. I have a lot more that I need to do. The good news is that I am close to having a positive net worth. In the next few months I anticipate being able to move the number from the negative to a positive value. 

I still have a bedroom full of random stuff that does not have a place. I spent sometime going through it finding that there is yet more stuff for the donation pile and the trash pile. I did my laundry, folded it, and stowed it away. I stripped the bed, washed the linens, and remade the bed. I cleaned the kitchen. I watched two cute movies, The Village Barbershop and Waitress. I loved them both. Independent films with plucky heroines that win out in the end are like chicken soup to my soul. The only downside at the moment I don't have a cute and plucky heroine to watch them with.

Friday Day 64 2010 - Part 2

Friday was a actually a pretty good day and it has been awhile since I have been able to use the word "good" in relation to any day of the week between Monday and Friday.  While I made some progress there are still some large piles waiting for me when I get back to work on Monday. I think that big yellow metal Tonka dump truck was one of my favorite toys when I was a wee lad. Now I have nightmares of a full sized dump truck that backs up to my cube at work and covers my desk in several tons of coffee grounds, egg shells, tin cans, and fish-heads..... just after I've finished shoveling the last load out. Of course this is all complete hyperbole. Most days are at least okay and I've had my share of good days, but Friday was particularly rewarding. I helped someone else in a small way, was useful to a number of people, and made at least a little progress on a number of ongoing issues.

Friday Day 64 2010 (make time to write)

How did it get to be Friday? The week has rushed past in a blur which given how much I have enjoyed the week, isn't such a bad thing at all.

I wonder how many people are going to get up this morning and go off to work wondering what they would really like to be doing for a living. I have always envied those folks that seemed to know from 5th grade what direction they wanted to go with their lives. I remember being asked that question in 5th grade and being completely unable to choose, there were things about all the classic professions, policemen, fireman, astronaut, doctors, lawyers, writers, and teachers that I thought was pretty cool.

The only occupation that I ever really felt drawn to was that of writer, but I have never had much luck trying my hand at fiction and I don't know how much of that desire was a fantasy of the lifestyle of a writer and how much is actually a love of writing, since as I say, I don't sit down and actually write fiction very often. There is something however that I dearly love about sitting at a keyboard and writing. I love it when my fingers dance across the keyboard and words come out, it feels like magic. If I think back about the things in my life that I am proud of a funny thing comes up. That 25 page term paper I wrote on the use of trains in early 19th century novels. That was a bear of a paper and I hit a home run on that one. So if I had a dream job, I think it would involve writing.

I think part of my problem with trying to write fiction has always been this awful self-criticism that I have always felt when I have tried to write. Everything comes out sounding horrible to me and I frequently stop before I get very far. It's only been relatively recently that I have realized that some of that, perhaps even a lot of that, might not be real or fair criticism. Since coming to that realization and starting to build a little basic self-confidence, I have not really had the opportunity to go back and apply that to writing. It seems like life has been moving a thousand miles an hour for awhile now.

It's only been lately that I have started to realize that waiting for life to smooth out or for there to be more time is a fool's game. Life is an endless banquet which presents an endless number of choices most of which are coming at us simultaneously. Life's choices are not this nice series of linear decisions my brain would prefer. It's more like making a bunch of decisions rapidly and at the same time. It's setting priorities, trying to live by some basic principles, and hoping for the best.

So what do I need to take from all this early morning rumination which probably does not make the least bit of sense to anyone? Probably that I need to set aside some time to write. It' doesn't have to be much, but if there is even a small piece of the dream that I had as a little kid of being a writer then just maybe I should honor that by finding a couple of hours to see if there is anything there. What's the worst than can happen? That I'll end up with a terrible unfinished novel in the back of the file cabinet? That's not such a  bad thing.

Thursday - Day 63 2010

Thursday morning. Didn't sleep particularly well last night, my mind was busy worrying about various things, including coming home and finding the back gate and the door to the basement/crawlspace partially open. I looked around but didn't find anything disturbed. A friend on Facebook described it as the activity of "neighborhood elves." It reminds me that I need to fix up the crawlspace door and get a lock on it, fix the gate and perhaps put a lock on it as well. In fact the entire fence around the back yard needs fixing up.

There is nothing wrong that an infinite amount of time and money will not cure.

Moments

I need to get better at hitting pause and enjoying the moment. Particularly when things are stressful. What better way to start than actually stopping for a second to drink my latte @ Starbucks instead of drinking it while walking to work. It's only a few minutes out of the day and maybe it will set the right note for the day.

Sent from my iPhone

Day 60 2010

It was an interesting Monday. It was a bit of a struggle to stay focused and positive, but in the end it worked out.

I stuck to just my morning cups of coffee at home and didn't have any caffeine for the rest of the day. I've had a bad habit lately of supplementing that coffee with even more later on in the day. Evidently it has been a habit because around four in the afternoon yesterday I got really tired, at first I couldn't figure it out, then I made the caffeine connection. It's time to be a little more conscious of my spending. I made a good start yesterday. I was running a couple of tax related errands and was trying to choose between having coffee at Starbucks or getting a real lunch at Chipotle. I was going for the coffee until I asked myself which would be taking better care of myself? Given that I had already skipped breakfast, I thought Chipotle was the next right thing to do. Of course as I ate my burrito I tried to rationalized that I could afford the Starbucks too. Somehow I managed not to pull the wool over my own eyes, and ran to the post office instead.

It's a good thing I didn't waste time going to Starbucks, the post office turned out to be jammed with people and there was just one person working the counter. I think I waited in line for a good 30 to 40 minutes to get my taxes mailed. But my they are done and safely mailed off.

I watched my My Sassy Girl girl last night, the American remake of a hit Korean film. I watched it, enjoyed it, but wouldn't really recommend it.

Day 59 2010

Rabbit, rabbit

Yesterday was a weird day. Didn't do anything that I had planned which just proves that sometimes the universe has better plans. Spent the day at a friends house eating too much and hanging out with their family and friends. Watched Canada beat the USA in the gold medal game in hockey. The last hockey game I actually watched was when the US beat Russia in Lake Placid. Was that really 30 years ago? I left the house first thing in the morning and didn't return until after 8pm. Good thing I was at least a little productive on Saturday.

Day 58 2010

Saturday kicked ass. Sumatra at home, Vanilla Latte at Starbucks, breakfast with friends at West Egg. I came  home, put on some music, cleaned for a bit, paid bills, did my taxes, and then went over to a friend's for dinner with her, her family, and friends. I really, really, enjoyed the entire day.

Sometimes I get this glimpse of what I want my life to be like and I imagine it's like the clouds breaking for a mariner of old who has sailed for weeks with no star to get a bearing on. It's like suddenly having a sense of direction.

Day 57 2010

Friday was an up and down day. Cannot really comment on it, it's a small Internet. I was extremely happy that the weekend showed up at the end of it. I came home and watched a silly movie, It's a Boy Girl Thing. Thank goodness for silly movies.

Day 56 2010

Every now and then the fear, second guessing, and over intellectualizing dies away and it's like dropping the hammer on the biggest, baddest, most tricked out muscle car you've ever seen. That was my Thursday. Needless to say, it was a very good day.

Day 55 2010

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. - Dune, Frank Herbert

I think fear and perhaps even fear of fear is a major part of the problem. Having realized that I am thinking about what I need to do to get into solution mode and stay there.

Day 54 2010

Yesterday was Monday and I had a bad case of the Monday dreads, but managed to keep it under control, get into work, get focused, and get busy. I came home and as I ate a bowl of chili, I watched an interesting animated film, Persepolis, about a girl coming of age in Iran during the Islamic Revolution. I thought it was a very good example of how to use animation and drawing to effectively tell a story. I went to be early and managed to get up on time. I don't know if I am going to manage to make breakfast before having to jump in the shower and catch the bus.

Day 53 2010

Sunday started with Starbucks and the usual suspects, and stopped at Trader Joe's to pick up somethings I had forgotten the day before. I made blueberry pancakes for breakfast with fresh blueberries. I love my blueberry.

I went with some friends to Grady Hospital to visit a friend who has just been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. We visited for almost an hour. I was grateful that I was able to go and support him in some small way. It brought up a lot of stuff for me from my own history with cancer, to my ability to be a good friend to others, and to how I want others to be a part of my life, even if I feel that I am not really very good at it yet.

Yesterday afternoon mom inspired me to see if cleaning a window would make the house cleaner. I got the window clean, but also ended up talking to my neighbor Mike for about an hour. When I was done, I discovered that mom was right, having that window clean and smudge free did indeed make the entire house look better.

I finished the evening by watching State of Play. It was a good movie even though I had this strange feeling that I had seen it before, even though I hadn't.

Lots of changes at work this week. This morning it seems almost ominous that it is starting with a four in the morning thunderstorm complete with thunder and lightning. I have five new people on my team this week and it's going to be a challenge.

Day 52 2010

Saturday Morning was coffee, friends, breakfast, Trader Joe's, and then home to start whittling away at all the stuff that needs doing around the house. I've been leaving the house well before dawn, returning after dusk, and it's been pretty cloudy and overcast. Yesterday was the first really sunny warm day that we have had in ages and it really underlined how much cleaning I needed to do around the house. I saw the house in the sunlight for the first time in ages and said, "holly cow I need to clean!" Just vacuuming the house seemed to take forever and a day, but I got it done. I stripped the bed, ran the linens through the wash, and remade the beds. I did a load of darks, a load of whites, and all the laundry folded and put away. I scrubbed the bathroom sink, toilet, and floor. I fixed one of my speakers. I figured out how to take it apart, found the wire that had come loose, and reconnected it. I have treble coming from the right speaker again! It makes the television and the radio sound so much better. I made chili for lunch, and rice and beans for dinner. I did the dishes. I checked the traps in the attic for small furry unwelcome guests, none! I changed the litter box for the cat. I did some misc cleaning, sorting, and thinking about what do I need to do with this and that.

Somewhere in there, I did find time to catch up on Grey's Anatomy which made me tear up as always. It was fascinating watching characters you love at much earlier points in their lives. I don't think that Grey's has ever used flashback extensively before and while I enjoyed the episode it made me realize that I am glad it's not a show that relies heavily on flashback. It would take away from the immediacy of the show. I watched Grey's sister show, Private Practice, and then an episode of the Deep End which I am largely watching because I find Tina Majorino so adorable (and have ever since Veronica Mars).

Not a bad day, it even seemed to have a bit of balance to it, scary thought. Only thing I could have done batter was I was helping someone jump a car and someone else, who owned the jumper cables and the car doing the jumping, was insisting that I do it the "right" way which was actually wrong and I knew it and didn't stick up for myself. You connect the red (positive) on the car to be jumped, the red on the car that is doing the jumping, the black (positive) on the car doing the jumping, and then the red to any bare metal on the car being jumped except the battery. The reason being is that batteries can let off hydrogen gas and when you make the final connection that's when you are potentially going to get sparks. You don't want those sparks to ignite the battery. (confirmation)

Day 51 2010

I am having a bit of trouble with what tense to be writing in on this blog. Usually I get up in the morning and write about the events of the day before. So when I say Day 51 is it the day I am writing about, or is it the day that I am writing? Do I worry too much about these questions? Probably. There is a time stamp so anyone can pretty easily figure out that I am writing about the day before. But anyway, I thought this morning, the 51st day of the year that I would try writing about what is happening now, right here, as I write. That the title of the post now refers to when I sat down to write, and less about what happened on a given day. Trying to write about yesterday as if I was wrapping up my thoughts at the end of the day was giving me a headache.

So I cannot call Friday just another day in the office. Things continue to be stressful. I finished my first full week of being out of an office and back on the call center floor. There are positives and negatives on being on the floor and back in cube-ville. I am suddenly much more plugged in to what is going on with this particular client and with the agents in our technical support center, but more removed from bigger picture stuff which takes place in those (for me: ivory tower?) offices. I have friends that are telling me that if I want to get ahead I need to pay more attention to the bigger picture stuff going on inside those offices, but there is an instinct in me that says if I focus on doing a good job at whatever level, the big picture will take care of itself. And my experience thus far has shown this to be true.

Yesterday I took Marta but stopped at the Lindberg Starbucks to have coffee, talk with a friend or two, and completely change my attitude towards the day. Refreshed by a latte I continued on to work and had a fairly productive day. Meant to leave early, but ended up only leaving about fifteen minutes before my usual time. When I got home I finished off the leftover sketi, curled up on the couch and watched Pandorum, not the most relaxing movie to watch by yourself in a cold dark house on a Friday evening. Although curling up under some blankets on the couch with a cat curled up next to me sort of took the edge off. It was okay, there was a lot in the film that perked my interest. It didn't quite deliver on all the potential of the plot and I felt there was some inconsistency and murkiness in the story telling towards the end.

This morning I am trying to decide what to do with the weekend which even at six am on a Saturday feels like it is slipping away all too quickly. I was able to set at my computer and finish my two cups of Sumatra this morning for the first time since last weekend, what a decadent luxury.

Day 50 2010

It was a Friday

Day 49 2010

On a whim took the train an extra stop to the Sandy Springs Station just to see what it was like to walk to work from that station. It's a bit further, but has the advantage of a putting a Starbucks directly in line between the station and the office. Previously if I was going to divert to Starbucks it would require a lengthy detour.

Rie Rasmussen

I came home feeling a little down. Make some sketti, probably ate too much of it. Watched a Luc Besson film called Angel-A which is a re-imagination of the classic It's a Wonderful Life. The man pushed to his limits, down on himself, and thinking of ending it all is André, played by Jamel Debbouze, and the angel in this case, is played by Rie Rasmussen, a tall, leggy, blond super model.

The angel in this case is not your typical angel. She lights one cigarette after another because as she explains, where she's from, you cannot even sneak one. And that is only the begininig. Ms. Rasmussen a delight to watch on screen both fun and beautiful.

Visually the movie, shot on location in Paris, is pure black and white eye candy of the first order.

Thematically part of what angel-a tries to get the lead character to see in himself, parallels thoughts and feelings I have been having lately. Issues of self-esteem and fear of being oneself. I am still noodling over some of the stuff it stirred up.

Day 48 2010

Drove to work. Worked hard on a lot of stuff and didn't finish any of it. Worked late meeting with client. Got home, made dinner, watched part of a movie, fell asleep. Not the world's most interesting day. Had to top off groceries with a trip to Trader Joe's on the way home. Lot's of things I want to do right now, not getting to much of it.

Day 47 2010

Not a bad day as days tend to go. I did buy myself a Starbucks (coffee not Latte) on the way to work. Had to put in a good long walk to get it, but didn't eat out or spend any other money.

After work I went to visit a friend who organized a Mardi Gras fundraiser for the Georgia Parent Support Network being held in one of the ballrooms at the Fox Theater.

Got home pretty late, had a snack, then stumbled off to bed.

Day 46 2010

Monday: Made breakfast, made lunch, took MARTA, made relatively healthy dinner, had a fairly productive day at work, and didn't spend any money. Think I can put that one into the win column.

The cold seems much better, maybe just a trace of it hanging on, but I was dead tired when the bus dropped me off down the street from my house. I didn't get much done after fixing some dinner. I forced myself to watch the end of movie from Netflix that turned out to be a pretty pointless film. I had already invested an hour in watching it when I realized I really wanted to turn it off, but I kept on hoping it would get better, but it never did.

Day 45 2010

Sunday started in the usual manner. Coffee with friends, then going by Trader Joe's to do the rest of the grocery shopping for the week. When I got home I really wanted breakfast to make itself. After awhile it became apparent that was not going to happen no matter how hard I wished it would, so got off my duff and fixed myself some breakfast.

Called Mom and decided to go to a movie, Crazy Heart, with her. The first theater was sold out before we got there so we just got back in the car and drove over to another  and got in just fine. I wasn't all that impressed with the film. It didn't strike a chord with me and I thought there were a number of elements that almost worked. I was not that impressed with the Oscar nominated performance of Jeff Bridges. I was slightly more impressed with the Oscar nominated performance of Maggie Gyllenhaal, but that could have been heavily influenced by the fact I think she is lovely and adorable.

After the movie I stayed for dinner.... salmon, you kidding, of course I stayed for dinner and got to spend some time with Dad as well. 

transformation

Transformation, bridging that gap between who we are and who we want to be sometimes seems so overwhelming. I tend to forget that most of the time it starts with small things and that practicing on the small things is what allows you to do something differently when the bigger life altering moments come along. There is a  part of me that wants to make sweeping changes, preferably without a lot of effort. To just go from being one way to being another. Sadly I don't think that is the way the universe works.

It is probably a good thing that wishing does not make something so. You never really know much about a destination until you make the journey to get there. And in making that journey you might find that your original destination wasn't somewhere you really wanted to go at all, that life had something better to offer along the way that you never would have seen if you had been instantly and magically transported to your destination. You found something better along the way because you had been making those frustratingly small baby steps up the path, one after another, after another, after another.

Day 44 2010

This was the view off of the front stoop this morning. For a change I stayed in on a Saturday morning. I slept in too, if sleeping to five am can be called sleeping in. I spent most of the morning either working or worrying about work. Finally about noon I realized that I needed some type of distraction and watched this weeks Grey's Anatomy.

One of the themes, and one of the reasons I love Grey's Anatomy is the fact that there is almost always a theme, was change, adaption, reinvention, and transformation. There is scene where Lexi has transformed her appearance by going blonde and another character challenges on her on the superficial nature of the change: My point is you can't just change your hair. Yeah you want to be unforgettable? You want to not be mousy? You can't just change your hair, you have to actually change.

thinking

"not mousy" reinvention change adapt finding a way moving forward

Day 43 2010

Friday was a good day. I had some successes at work during the week and left the office a little early on Friday to beat the snow. I am loving my iPhone although the battery life could be longer.

I am utterly and completely exhausted at the moment, a combination of a nagging cold, a hard week at work, and not getting enough sleep last night. It's not even 8pm and my eyelids are feeling heavy and it's hard to come up with things to say about the day. Sipping a large mug of herbal tea probably isn't helping matters.

The snow is lovely, particularly from inside my cozy little house. Particularly on a Friday evening with the weekend stretching out ahead. I had an idea for a film script at lunch today. Maybe I will stay in tomorrow and do things like putter around the house, surf the inter-webs, and try my hand at a screenplay.

Day 42 2010

I am very quickly getting used to having an iPhone. It's a nice little piece of technology.

For awhile however, I thought something was dreadfully wrong with it. I tried everything I could to get it to connect to a wireless router in the office but could not get out to the internet. I went online and read all these horror stories in forums about bad wi-fi in iPhones. After stewing over this for about an hour I realized that the router was turned on, but was not plugged into the network. Once I plugged the router into the network, my wi-fi speed improved significantly

I came home and made some awesome sketti and later a friend came over to talk. I think I was able to be useful and that was a good feeling, a very good feeling. I got to bed late after watching about ten minutes of The Mentalist and deciding that it would make more sense to try to catch it later, maybe even online.

Quote

If we let things terrify us, life will not be worth living.
--Seneca

Day 41 2010

It's a cold morning and my head is aching from this cold that refuses to let go. I woke up, made coffee, and wandered into the office to putter online for a bit before getting ready for the day. At one point I looked at the time and realized that I had never made to my second cup of coffee, never made it to breakfast, and if I didn't get myself in gear, wasn't going to make my bus. I made it to work, but definitely don't have that bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, ready to take on the world feeling. I feel in need of a few quiet unremarkable days off.

I was looking forward to my iPhone arriving on Thursday, so I was delighted when I found it was out for delivery on Wednesday, the excitement ramped up when I found it had been delivered. I kept telling myself to focus on work despite my urge to dash home to claim it off the porch and play with it. But I waited until the end of the day, took the bus home, and found the package from AT&T sitting on my doorstep. I started up iTunes, plugged in the iPhone, ran through the setup, and made my first phone call to mom. Then came figuring out what to do with all my contacts. I synced with my Google Contacts which probably makes sense, but it resulted in a lot of junk in my address book. Then there was the matter of all the contacts in my old phone, I sat pretending to watch Criminal Minds, but mostly what I did was manually transfer contacts from my old phone to the new one.

There is definitely a learning curve to it.

Day 40 2010

Tuesday, better than Monday. Long day, my MARTA train had trouble on the way in the morning and on the way home I was on one that died completely, we had to disembark and wait for the next train. Got home late and made a spinach salad of awesomeness. Tried watching NCIS, but got snuggled up and warm on the couch and promptly fell asleep. I still have a cold and am tired of not having any damn energy for anything. I could really use a break.

As I was laying on the couch Monday night, I had at some point opened my flip phone and set it on my chest. Unfortunately I later stood up sending the flip phone tumbling to the floor in the open position. My poor cellphone is the original one I got when I signed up for wireless service and it's survived many, many, accidental tumbles. All those times it was closed. It did not survive the fall in the open position. The hinge shattered and now the only thing holding the phone together is the data cable going to the display screen.

The upshot of this is that I had to buy a new phone and I finally caved in and got the iPhone I've wanted since the day the original iPhone came out. It's supposed to be delivered on Thursday.

Day 39 2010

Monday, a bad case of the dreads turned out to be all sound and fury over nothing. This was good. Tired when I got home. Had some leftover chili, watched House, fell asleep. I drove in Monday which means I face the rest of the week on MARTA. There is a rumor MARTA is changing it's fare or even fare structure which I'd find to be... very unfortunate.

Cooper in the Afternoon Light

For me there is something so Zen-like and peaceful about this picture. Something in it makes me think of an Edward Hooper painting.

Day 38 2010

Sunday I met friends for coffee, came home, and got busy around the house. I made breakfast, then cleaned and mopped the kitchen. I striped both beds, washed, dried, and the linens, and remade the beds. I did a couple of loads of laundry and then folded that and the backlogged of laundry and put all of it away. I cleaned the bathroom toilet, sink, and floor, then vacuumed the rest of the house. I was feeling quite stressed and keeping busy seemed to help.

Around 4pm I went to pick up a friend to go to a Super Bowl party, we ran by Wolf Camera so she could pick up some photos and and stopped by Kroger to pick up some ice for the party.

I ended up watching the game on this brand new 50 inch plasma television. All I can say is wow. If I didn't have other priorities in life I would run out and buy one. It's as big a step up from my 21 inch conventional tube television as my television is from radio. But I don't even have cable at the moment!

It was a good game, hotly contested right up until New Orleans made a key interception late in the second half. Although the real turning point of the game was when New Orleans opened the second half with a dramatic surprise onside kick.

Moments Missed

Taken 2/2/2010. It's a Tuesday and I am walking from the train station to work. It's been raining and is a nippy 40 degrees. On this particularly morning I'm making a diversion down a different street to Starbucks to treat myself. Starbucks. Starbucks is a bit a walk from the office, I would say at least a mile. This is probably a good thing. It means that if I go to Starbucks I am going to be getting my exercise and it means that the degree of difficultly in getting Starbucks helps me stick to my budget, which  does not include much Starbucks. I have about a latte a week budgeted for Starbucks.

In this photo, I love the rain and the way the lights reflect off of every surface. I love walking the streets all bundled up in cold weather. I don't like how I let myself get preoccupied with negative thoughts and emotions which diminishes my enjoyment and I miss moments in time that would otherwise make me profoundly happy.

Day 37 2010

I made it to the weekend. I wish it has been with a great sigh of relief, but it's not that easy to leave the stress of the week behind me. It took most of the day to get myself down off the ledge that I'd climbed on, but eventually I managed to do it.

I started the day with Starbucks and met up for breakfast with friends at West Egg. While waiting to be seated we took a photo in the photo booth in the waiting area. (That is me in the back.) Breakfast was nice, afterwards I headed over to Ikea, not really to buy anything, most just to wander aimlessly, think of how I might want to decorate at some point, and to people watch. I did end up buying a vase, an artificial flower, and a night-light for a grand total was $6.

Post-Ikea I came home, looked up mom's directions for making spinach dip, and for good measure made a grocery list for the week. Then I hit up Trader Joe's and Publix both of which were mad houses on the day before the Super Bowl. It took a couple of hours, but eventually I was home with a full week's worth of groceries.

When I got home, I made the spinach dip for the party I am going to Sunday. I cooked chili and brown rice for dinner. I curled up as best I could in my office chair with my chili and watched Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice on the computer. For some reason I don't get the local ABC affiliate even though I am right smack in the middle of the city, so there are some shows I can only watch on the computer.

Day 36 2010

Friday. Bad day, bit of a blur really. Got a little teary at times.

I finished the day watching Cold Souls which I really, really liked and thought was a strong interesting movie right up to the end, then I thought it sort of fizzled a bit. There was nothing wrong with the story, no plot developments to anger me, it was the way a clear crisp story suddenly jumped out of focus right at the end. The premise, that you can have your soul removed and stored if it is causing you too much inconvenience or discomfort, as it does for Paul as he struggles with emotions brought on by his role in Uncle Vanya.

It's funny, I used to wonder why anyone would watch a movie with Paul Giamatti, but he is growing on me. I like his energy and I really like the performance he turned in for this movie.

Day 35 2010

Not much to be said for this particular Thursday, I took the bus, took the train, ate lunch at chick-fil-a, survived another day in the trenches. My cold took a turn for the worse, when I got home I made some dinner, plopped in front of the TV and went to bed early.

Day 34 2010

TREAT DAY! I drove to work which allowed for coffee with friends. It really got the day started on the right note. I ran into traffic on the way to work and was later than I planned which I made up on the back end of the day. Didn't have time for much when I got home but to make a bagel burger, some white cheddar pasta shells, and to watch some of a movie (Love Happens) and most of Criminal Minds. I ran out of gas before Criminal Minds was over and went to bed. I am kicking myself because I would have loved to have seen the end.

Day 33 2010

It occurs to me that I'm much more comfortable in my house for which I am extremely grateful. When I first moved in and tried to sleep it seemed like every little noise would startle me, even if I was asleep. It felt like I was hearing every little noise in the house or even in the neighborhood. At times I wondered if I had made this horrible mistake buying a house that I would never be able to get comfortable in or be able to get a good night's sleep in. Now my house has turned into this safe comfortable place. I love being home.

The thirty third day of the year was fairly routine. I took MARTA to work, spent the majority of the day attending a virtual class, and got some work done in the afternoon. I have so much to do at work at the moment it's a bit overwhelming. I was down a bit when I got home, but some friends help me hit the reset button. One person in particular said something that turned my evening around. It's odd how we will get this idea in our heads of how we are that can be so completely wrong. I finished the last of the leftovers from dinner at mom's on Sunday. Mom had sent me home with left over mashed potatoes and eye of round...yum. I watched NCIS, managed to stay awake through the entire thing, and slept the sleep of the if not the righteous then just really tired.

Day 32 2010

It's Monday and the work week has begun. So how many hours is it till the weekend starts? It's been awhile since I have started a Monday thinking that way. It's not particularly useful. I need to get focused on today and what I can get accomplished today. If I take care of today, the weekend will get here before I know it.

It's tough to write a blog. I used to write just any old thing and thank goodness there don't seem to be any public copies of that stuff floating around. It was so dark, depressed, and crying for help. I am very aware now when I write of public/private boundaries and the fact that anything I say on a blog basically goes on the public record. It makes me think things through a little more.

Monday was a long day. Successes included: breakfast, MARTA, Chiptole, dinner and surviving another day in the office. After dinner I watched House and went to bed.

An entire month of posts

Really, an entire month? I might not have had much to say, but at least I said it everyday. Breaking out the Blogger sweatshirt to celebrate. Cheers!